When going back means coming home twice

I was born on the island of Pico, in the Azores. On this visit I spent part of my time in Cascais, where I sought out, as I always do, the company of the sea. Anyone who grew up on an island will understand that inclination. And yet, now that I am back, it is above all the conversations around the table that come to mind. There are friends with whom a lunch always falls short, even when it stretches into the afternoon. And there are people we thought we would have time to visit, and to whom we end up saying, on the eve of departure, that we will see each other next time.

In the first days in Portugal, three weeks feel like a great deal of time. Plans are made, meetings arranged, and a visit put off until later because it will still fit into the schedule. Then, all of a sudden, the day comes to close the suitcase. Some visits are left unmade and some conversations unfinished. I believe many Portuguese living in America know that arithmetic we do in the final days, and how rarely it comes out right.

In New Jersey are my daughters and the company I founded here. This is where my daily life unfolds, with the work, the friendships and the responsibilities I have taken on over the years. I am grateful to the country that received me and where I was able to raise my family and build my business. I remain Portuguese, with the same affection for the land where I was born and for the people who watched me grow up.

As my daughters grow, I think more often about what it falls to them to receive from me as a Portuguese father. A language is learned by hearing it at home. The history of a family takes on another meaning once you know the land it came from. And there are habits as simple as telephoning someone far away, or making time for a visit, that say a great deal about the place we give to family. These are things children learn, for the most part, by watching us do them.

It is also for that reason that I value the work of our communities in the United States. In the Portuguese clubs and associations there are people who, after a week of work, still give up part of their Saturday to prepare a celebration or to welcome the youngest. Thanks to that willingness, many children and grandchildren of Portuguese families find, close to home, a place where they hear their grandparents' language and begin to take an interest in the land those grandparents came from.

In January, I expect to return to Portugal. When I arrange the first lunches, I will think, as I always do, that this time there will be time to see everyone. In the meantime, back in New Jersey, I have my daughters with me and I return gladly to work. And no sooner do I get home than I begin to miss the other side of the Atlantic.